Real Advice on Relationships with Author Rachel Neal

by - Thursday, September 13, 2018


Independent filmmaker and author, Rachel Neal, has written a new book, “Hey Rachel! Real Talk. Real Relationships. Real Advice.” The project is written in a funny, sexy, and spot-on manner that serves as a space for women to discover the insights, and understanding of new ways to deal with age-old and modern relationship problems.

“The basic male and female relationship dynamics have not changed, but improvements in technology, including online dating and a shift in cultural norms, have made it even more difficult to find and sustain relationships,” Neal said. “With that, my goal is to show women how to be honest with themselves,” she continued.

Rachel took time out of her schedule to share more about "Hey Rachel! Real Talk. Real Relationships. Real Advice" in our interview with her below. Take in what she has to say and let her words guide you in the world of dating and relationships.

Ms.Be More: How can Hey Rachel change today's world of dating and relationships?

Rachel Neal: Many women grew up in dysfunctional households with fathers or mothers who were either controlling, non-emotional, elusive, violent, nonexistent, too passive, and the list goes on and on. For these reasons, they were programmed to believe that love hurts and were clueless about what it meant to be in a positive relationship. Using a raw, realistic and humorous approach, my book teaches women how to re-program their ideologies of love. It guarantees that as more and more women follow the strategies in the book and begin to say “NO” to the bull, men will realize that they can no longer get away with mistreating women and will become more respectful and honorable at the onset and during the relationship. This, in turn, will lead to a society full of less toxic behaviors and much happier and healthier relationships! 

Ms. Be More: What inspired you to write Hey Rachel?

Rachel Neal: One day, after I finally got the nerve to ask a man I was dating (it was really a friends-with-benefits relationship on his end) to do me a favor and he made up a lame excuse after I had given him my “all”, I decided then and there to take my RELATIONSHIP LIFE BACK! No more catering to any man who did not cater to me. No more putting anyone except God first and no more feeling as if I was not worthy of LOVE. I became sick and tired of being sick and tired. The tactics I developed worked sometimes, but sometimes they failed. In the end, I persevered and WON AT LOVE! I wrote this book because I want every woman who is suffering in relationships to at least attempt my strategies and hopefully in the end, WIN AT LOVE! I chose the situations detailed in the book because they relate to how I recovered from being a DOG-LOVIN’ SISTA!   

Ms. Be More: What are some of the immediate red flags one should look out for when first getting to know someone?

Rachel Neal: I wrote a chapter basically devoted to that…

Ms. Be More: For future reference, PLEASE run like hell if you encounter one or more of the following signs:

Rachel Neal: If he takes a “hand” shower after sex, which means he only uses his hands to wash his body because he dares not to go home smelling fresh and clean (especially like unfamiliar soap).
If you happen to spend the night at his house (normally, staying all night is not allowed), and he wakes you up to leave at 6 AM because, uh, you are not his girl! No breakfast or hanging out allowed!

He finally calls instead of texts, only to get clarity (again) regarding the directions to your house and to ask what you’re cooking, or to see if your kid is asleep. He texts you the day after every holiday and does not even mention the holiday.  And the list goes on.

Ms. Be More: How important is it for couples to have their own relationship goals instead of what they oftentimes see and try to mimic on social media?

Rachel Neal: As we all know, social media allows many folks to live out their fantasies without spending a dime. They can stand beside a Ferrari on a car lot and pretend it’s theirs. They can sunbathe next to a community pool and pretend they’re at a pool at the Ritz Carlton in Miami (close-up shots), and they can post pics of their relationship when all the bills are finally paid (for this month) and they are happy for the moment. Your relationship goals should never be based on social media or any personal relationships. We don’t really know what’s going on behind the facade!!! 

Ms. Be More: What steps should one take in bouncing back after a difficult breakup
and what should they do to prepare themselves should the right relationship come along?

Rachel Neal: My mom gave me the best advice that every woman should follow after a breakup: “SIT DOWN for a moment” and take the time to self-reflect and process the good, the bad, and the ugly in that relationship—especially the bad.” If a woman understands why the relationship ended and accepts that she may have contributed to its demise (it usually takes two to ruin a relationship) her healing will begin. Only time completely heals all wounds. After healing has taken place, she should begin to prepare herself for the next right relationship by connecting with her spirituality; if she hasn’t already, reflect on how her childhood could have affected her relationships and thoroughly examine all her past relationships and accept that she may have contributed to the mess!

Ms. Be More: During the process of writing Hey Rachel, have you discovered anything new about yourself as it relates to dating and marriage?

Rachel Neal: I discovered I did not always follow my intuition and strategies while dealing with relationships. This forced me to deal with some of the same dreadful relationship issues my readers were writing me about. I knew that I could not advise my readers if I was not practicing what I preached. Once I started rigidly implementing my techniques, my dating world changed, and as a result, I am happily married. 

Ms. Be More: What's next for you?

Rachel Neal: I am working on a new book titled Man Drama. In the book, readers will see some of their worst, yet somewhat humorous relationship nightmares (mini man dramas) unfold, and I offer interpretations and solutions for those nightmares.

Ms. Be More: Where can we find you (social media handles, etc.)?

Rachel Neal:
Hey Rachel
Raggity Anns Short Flim
Rabran Enterprises
Youtube
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter

Featured News Articles:
Atlanta Journal Constitution
Daily Press 
LA Times
Working Woman Report

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10 comments

  1. Wonderful interview! Inspiring, informative, relatable, real. This is a woman to keep our eyes on. This is just what women and men who are struggling need. Real talk!!!

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  2. Great article! I think people have an difficult time being honest about what they want and need in a relationship. And sometimes they truly don’t know what they want and need.

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  3. This is awesome!....What a great interview. Love the book and I'm definitely looking forward to more real talk/real relationship advice from Hey Rachel!

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  4. Great interview! Relevant & important advice! Highly recommend! Rachel's books, films, and each of her projects speak for and to US; and they also represent who she is...a genuine & talented writer, a relatable sister, a knowledgeable & courageous woman, and a truly positive social influencer! #HEYRACHEL

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  5. What a refreshing writer you are! Your book held me captive til the very end. The truth hurts at times but your ability to inform readers with a sense of truth mixed with humor is extremely enlightening and colorful. I can’t wait to encounter more of your work. It is obvious that you are a very talented and authentic person. Your upcoming work can’t happen soon enough!

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  6. Excellent interview! Hey Rachel is a phenomenal book and Raggity Ann's A short Film is just another piece of extraordinary work by Rachel Neal. This author, screen writer and blogger is someone to really watch out for. Her work is getting noticed across the country and rightfully so. She is one talented up and coming super star. I look forward to seeing and hearing more from this well rounded talent.

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    Replies
    1. Denise Daw-Brown wrote this comment

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  7. Enjoyed the book. There is advice that ever woman can relate to. It’s straightforward, good, sound advice. Can’t wait for her next project. It’s refreshing to get real advice from a real sista!

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  8. This book is a excellent read! Great advice for everyone. Great article! Looking forward to more to come in the future.

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